The new year; to start afresh

It's amazing how it's already 2015, I promised myself this year is going to be different. As much as try to hunt down the answers I'm awaiting, I know it's right in front of me. I've just got to start putting my efforts where they really belong instead of where they don't for starters. Do not please others so much. I deserve to have nice people around me. I've got so much ahead. Pretty excited I must say. I'm going to do what I want to do and try as hard as I can to strive and be all I can be.

Dear 2014,
We are almost parting and heading our separate ways. You've been full with surprises and I'm truly grateful for the entire year you've given me.
We've come a long way and there's no turning back now. 2015 is eagerly waiting to pounce right at us. I know we've got to be ready to part with you and take on 2015 with confidence!
Confidence is sexy so I've been told.
It's nice to know I'm heading to that place where I've always pictured myself being in. Still got a long way to go but that doesn't mean I'm not close to it.
So thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything 2014! You've been loved and you will be missed

I miss my dogs :(

Stronger.

Its always going to be today, no more tomorrows.

Cause I'd like to read some Shakespeare soon

She remembers sitting on your couch and when you decided on making a choice. Your mistakes were too obvious to hide nor was it mistakes she could forgive you for. She recalled sitting by the water when you put your arms around her for the first time. You learned her secrets and figured out why she was guarded. She should have known that you were simply a flight risk. Your first movie, your first coffee date, or when you met her mum. Or when her granddad started telling you irrelevant tales and all you did was patiently sit and entertain him or how you bonded with her brother. Its been way too long and all these years have not gotten all these vivid images out of her head. She tried, she really did. Or how she felt when she laid her eyes on you after almost 6 months and yet she felt sick to her gut when all her mum was repeated was disgust and vengeance. All she craved for was to be loved like that again. The day you walked into that club and you just waved hello without a worry. She freaked out and she was so frightened to have felt the way she did. You held her hand again and took her out trying to explain yourself. She held back her tears and there she was sitting next to you and all she felt was real heavy within. Not knowing whether to hate or love. To cry or to smile. To yell or to walk away. She was so confused not knowing what was right and wrong. To call her mother who was then admitted. It was a tough call she made. Then you tried to come closer and apologise and thats when she burst into tears and couldn't hold it back no more. The moment you mentioned how much you missed her and gave that hug she wished you gave her when you left abandoned on that lonely street. The events of that night on that very lonely street haunts her forever. Almost 2 years later, all she wishes with all her heart is for you to let her go. For you to stop missing her. For you to release her from all those lies. She keeps the very chain you gave her hidden some where safe hoping she'll never find it and be haunted with the words you sweetly uttered when you placed it in her hands. Never did she receive gifts as such from any man before. I sometimes wonder with those very 3 months in her life, you changed everything possible. Not a day goes by for her thinking you're the best thing she ever had and not knowing she actually deserves so much better. A million people can say that but truth is no one's moved her the way you did. All you wanted to do was to let her go yet all she wished for was for you to have not lied, stollen, faked or behaved the way you did because all she knew was she loved you for the man you were.

Oh please do not tempt. 

The strongest by far and yet you got to do what you got to do.

I'm tired of playing that fake girl I'm not. I'm tired of putting on a fake smile everytime you're around.

I'm tired of trying oh so hard and never succeeding. I'm tired of thinking everything is my fault. I'm tired of not complaining. I'm tired of caring. I'm tired of working out. I'm tired of solitude. I'm tired of all this procrastination. I'm tired of feeling this weight in me all the time. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep. I'm tired of holding back. I'm tired of being reserved. I'm tired of being accused of things I've never done. I'm tired of hoping. I'm tired of all the chaos. Its about time I fixed it all up. Did things I wana do instead of pleasing everyone instead. Its baby steps I know, a slow process that is probably gona take a long time but its worth the wait. So, I sit here and pray that this tiredness would ware out soon. I'd want the old me back. I'm tired of the masquerade. I've hidden myself way too long and its about time I realised 

COME EXPLORE THE WORLD WITH ME 

Could we go get a strawberry milkshake and some fries please? 

And there shall come a time, you'll see, with no more tears. 

And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.

Get over your hill and see what you ought to find there.

with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair, 

You'd find joy and you'll never turn back 

I CERTAINLY DO, THATS PRETTY NEW :)