Wednesday, January 8, 2014
She remembers sitting on your couch and when you decided on making a choice. Your mistakes were too obvious to hide nor was it mistakes she could forgive you for. She recalled sitting by the water when you put your arms around her for the first time. You learned her secrets and figured out why she was guarded. She should have known that you were simply a flight risk. Your first movie, your first coffee date, or when you met her mum. Or when her granddad started telling you irrelevant tales and all you did was patiently sit and entertain him or how you bonded with her brother. Its been way too long and all these years have not gotten all these vivid images out of her head. She tried, she really did. Or how she felt when she laid her eyes on you after almost 6 months and yet she felt sick to her gut when all her mum was repeated was disgust and vengeance. All she craved for was to be loved like that again. The day you walked into that club and you just waved hello without a worry. She freaked out and she was so frightened to have felt the way she did. You held her hand again and took her out trying to explain yourself. She held back her tears and there she was sitting next to you and all she felt was real heavy within. Not knowing whether to hate or love. To cry or to smile. To yell or to walk away. She was so confused not knowing what was right and wrong. To call her mother who was then admitted. It was a tough call she made. Then you tried to come closer and apologise and thats when she burst into tears and couldn't hold it back no more. The moment you mentioned how much you missed her and gave that hug she wished you gave her when you left abandoned on that lonely street. The events of that night on that very lonely street haunts her forever. Almost 2 years later, all she wishes with all her heart is for you to let her go. For you to stop missing her. For you to release her from all those lies. She keeps the very chain you gave her hidden some where safe hoping she'll never find it and be haunted with the words you sweetly uttered when you placed it in her hands. Never did she receive gifts as such from any man before. I sometimes wonder with those very 3 months in her life, you changed everything possible. Not a day goes by for her thinking you're the best thing she ever had and not knowing she actually deserves so much better. A million people can say that but truth is no one's moved her the way you did. All you wanted to do was to let her go yet all she wished for was for you to have not lied, stollen, faked or behaved the way you did because all she knew was she loved you for the man you were.
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